@just1fool: Being misunderstood is an art and apparently I should open a gallery.
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@vineyille: [screaming over sirens] I SAID ACTUALLY YOU'RE NOT "FIGHTING" THE FIRE YOU'RE WATERING IT
@ThaJawn: (prostate exam) Dr: WOW! I've never seen this before Me: OMG! WHAT *loud click Me: DID YOU JUST TAKE A SELFIE Dr:.. And send Me: WTF?
@RummyLauded: Ten: Number of fingers children have. Twenty-six: Number of fingers children have when you try to put gloves on them.
@ilovepie84: The best way to see if someone is telling the truth is to tie them to a chair and start up the ol chainsaw.