@DONTJIMMYMEJULZ: Being nice is exhausting, which is why evil people have so much energy.
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@Naked_Wombat: Hey terrorists, wanna cripple America? Hack Twitter and cause all DM's to go public. I'm just kidding, don't do that shit. We'd kill you.
@djdarrellripley: When I die I don't want a big funeral. I'd just like a few of my close friends to get together and try to bring me back to life...
@JaySuch: My son wanted to go to Disney, but I told him little boys who ruin marriages don't go to Disney.