@DONTJIMMYMEJULZ: Being nice is exhausting, which is why evil people have so much energy.
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@mikescollins: "1990 called, they want their shirt back." "...why didn't you warn them about 9/11?"
@ClassicMegan: If I were a waitress, I'd be planting fake engagement rings in every girl's food, just to see their boyfriends panic.
@OtherDanOBrien: [2 toads chillin'] Yo, we should start a rumor that if u lick us you'll get high. "Whaaaat, that's genius." We gon’ get mad licked, son.