@MoarCaffeine: Being poor means having to read the menu card from right to left.
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@INDlAN_: [first day as tour guide on the moon] Me: keep your hats on Guy at the back: um they’re called helmets Me: yeah you can take your hat off.
@CulturedRuffian: I never had to swim for my life in a shark attack but once I had to doggy-paddle really fast to get out of a pool when it was dessert time.
@DustinAHarkins: One time I called my teacher "mom" and she looked so confused and said "I'm not your mom." It made the rest of homeschooling really awkward.