@TuffyNyC: Being popular on Facebook is like being the smartest kid in summer school.
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@UrbanDouchebag: I wonder if flies ever think, "I bet I could get this guy to slap himself in the face." Because they'd be right.
@goodhairperson: I forgot the word "torch" earlier today so I googled "fire on a stick." I have two degrees in English.
@nursemella: *pops the hood* "Looks like the timing nut is gone on yer muffler belt" .. Umm r u sure you work here? *lifts eye brow, moustache falls off*
@Adar79Angie: Him: What gets you hot, baby? Me: mmm, talk to me in an accent. H: Zoinks, like, there's a ghost! Let's get out of here Scoob! M: *swoons*