@TuffyNyC: Being popular on Facebook is like being the smartest kid in summer school.
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@sammyrhodes: Let me get this straight Hulu Plus. I pay you $ to watch shows & then you fill those shows with commercials. This sounds familiar.
@joejwest: [on Mars] ASTRONAUT: An alien! MISSION CONTROL: Ok, so A: I choke slammed it MC: What? A: Another one! MC: DO NOT CH A: [choke slam noises]
@phalguy: I wrote a book titled: How Dragons Are Greater Than Unicorns Daenerys Targaryen wrote the foreword. All she wrote was: No shit Sherlock!
@mommy_cusses: When I'm old, I'm gonna giggle uncontrollably, squirm, and go all sack of potatoes on my son when he tries to get me in the car as payback.