@Freudianscript: Being popular on twitter is like being the keynote speaker at a Dementia Convention. No one remembers you the next day.
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@JasonLastname: Historians say teenagers in medieval times would send an average of 180 tiny scrolls by raven per day
@thenatewolf: *Friend is sinking in quicksand* Get help before I drown! *I start to run, stop, jog back to friend* Technically you're not drow- NATE!
@meaculpau27: In Starbucks a woman went sh*t house rat crazy when she got a double shot of espresso instead of the triple shot she ordered. I'm fine now.