@Sassafrantz: Being possessed would be cool because you could turn your head all the way around to say "wrong hole"
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@ilovepie84: I play Nickelback real loud all day so crickets can listen to something annoying when they try to sleep
@rachelle_mandik: -Can you describe the jellyfish that stung you? -Yes, it looked like a lazy toddler tried to draw an octopus.
@pauleggleston: Security Guard: Can I see your ID card? Me: *flashes card quickly* SG: Show me your card again. Me: Bit weird, but OK... *flashes cardigan*
@TheTweetOfGod: I am looking forward to 6pm Thanksgiving Day when Walmart opens its doors for its annual sale of trampled human corpses.