@Sassafrantz: Being possessed would be cool because you could turn your head all the way around to say "wrong hole"
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@SortaBad: "I have a coupon for a large 2 topping" "What toppings?" "Pepperoni & a small cheese pizza" "Sir you can't top a pizza with a smaller pizza"
@Stabby_smurf: If procrastinating were an Olympic sport, I would show up just in time to miss the medal ceremony.
@Home_Halfway: Bugs Bunny turns 75 today. Now when he says "What's up, Doc?" he's legitimately concerned.
@JimmyTheThing: Gay or straight, No state should legally recognize a marriage if they don't serve alcohol at the wedding.