@mdob11: [being pushed into the middle of a dance circle] please, I have a family
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@JermHimselfish: People who make up phrases and try to pass them off as popular sayings are just throwing meat to the monkeys in the middle of a maelstrom.
@CulturedRuffian: Tim Burton could've saved a lot of money on 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and just shown a 2016 Facebook Year in Review instead.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: How many legs does the dog have? 4 y.o: Five Me: There’s something wrong with your counting. 4: There’s something wrong with the dog.
@Nips_00: I love drinking games.... except the one where you have to try to walk a straight line while saying the ABCs backwards