@sheseemslegit: Being unemployed has given me even more time to make up songs to sing to my cat.
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@sofarrsogud: *maintains eye contact while checking 'Dating Librarians For Dummies' out from the library.
@Kyle_Lippert: A smart Halloween costume would be an angel costume because if you died, you could just sneak your way into heaven & be like "I'm back yall"
@badbanana: Idea: Like Google Glass, but a necklace or something that projects a website onto the face of the person talking to you.
@iamk1ts: All I said was, Even those starving kids in Africa wouldn't eat your cooking and my wifes foot became Mayor of my ass on Foursquare.