@Flossieraptor: Bella is the most misunderstood girl in fiction. She games Edward for immortality, starts a vampire war&secures a wolf servant for her baby.
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@ShittyComedian: I was having sex with this woman for 10 minutes before I realized it was a man, and then for like 20 minutes after.
@PAT_E_ROCK: Dr: You have walking pneumonia. Me: That's impossible. Dr: Wha.. Me: I've never walked a day in my life.
@VodkaTiem: I don't know who put chairs in the elevator, but that's a kind of laziness that I can respect.