@Flossieraptor: Bella is the most misunderstood girl in fiction. She games Edward for immortality, starts a vampire war&secures a wolf servant for her baby.
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@Eightinchgoat: I have high blood pressure, but my dogs don't. So, from now on I'm only getting upset about squirrels and mailmen.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Today is Star Wars Day, which means we should all reflect on a simpler time in our lives, when Harrison Ford didn't have an earring.
@bridger_w: If you're burglarizing a home and the owner walks in, defuse the situation by saying, "I seriously love your place"
@Rollinintheseat: AT&T sent me a text apologizing for their service outage. I sent them a text thanking them for making it impossible for people to call me.