@crushingbort: Ben Carson's book includes a story about single-handedly halting a bear attack during a school camping trip
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@polychromatik: Beethoven:Who wants to hear some Symphonies? *crowd goes wild B:I SAID WHO WANTS TO HEAR SOME SYMPHONIES *crowd goes nuts B:I CANT HEAR YOU!
@TwoSapphiresBlu: Daughter: Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor? Me: Because they have boring parents, darling.
@ChrisRRegan: Oh, elderly neighbor: You defeated Hitler, yet you somehow can't figure out the car alarm?