@OfficeofSteve: Ben-Hur was actually called, Fast & The Furious: Jerusalem Drift, but the name didn't catch on like they had hoped
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@ArfMeasures: [After performing the Dirty Dancing lift at our wedding] ME: Well that sure impressed them! WIFE [gasping for breath] You're getting heavier
@Breadery: Her: I like the man-horsey in this film. He's hot. Me: Centaur. H: What? M: Centaur H: Is that his name? M: I want a divorce.
@Marlebean: Dear future self, No, you weren't robbed. You left your house like this. Sincerely, You, you dumb slob.