@HollyHeals: Bend over and take it like a taxpayer.
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@KimmyMonte: How to tell if your cat is a dog: 1) it barks 2) it doesn't hate you 3) someone once said aw cute dog 4) it's like a horse but slower
@anylaurie16: Chelsea Clinton charges $65,000 for a 10 minute speech. How many times has her husband said, "Honey, I can’t afford to hear about your day.”
@MableGertrude: No one cared about leaving children in cars when I was young. I lived in the back of an old Buick with a pack of wild dogs until I was 9.
@RidiculousSheri: In hindsight, naming my family portrait studio Let Me Shoot Your Kids, was probably not the best business decision.