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@HollyHeals: Bend over and take it like a taxpayer.
@weismanjake: "Um, thanks?" -A woman who posed for a Picasso painting
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: Hello
M: How's my kid doing in school?
T: How's my kid doing in school?
I hate parrot teacher conferences
@HannahSymmonds: Him: It's so damn sexy when women bite their lip
Me: Like this?
Him: The bottom lip.
@Elizasoul80: "You had a life. It was this long. Here's a rock." - tombstones
@Try2StopME: She: "I am expecting..."
Me: "Whoa! Congrats."
She: "...someone at 3."