@SeanInCypress: Benedict Cumberbatch is proof that a white guy banged a cat.
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@turdfailure: They say you will eat around 23 spiders in your life, but really you can eat as many as you want. Treat yourself, you deserve it.
@_Water_Baby: *Tinkerbell sprinkling pixie dust* Remember Peter, give me a call if it last longer than 4 hours.
@AlmightyBored: Me to my 18yo, who doesn't like chocolate: What do you crave when you have your period? Her: Justice.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Wow, you forget to buy beer a few days in a row and suddenly your husband is offering to do the grocery shopping, my plan is working, guys.