@SeanInCypress: Benedict Cumberbatch is proof that a white guy banged a cat.
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@josePhDhoran: "Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor"- John joyfully sings as he walks off with the 'Caution: wet floor' sign
@paperphotoyo: My neighbor can't understand why he just found human shit on his front porch. I can't understand why he would use a power saw at 5:48 am.
@JillBidenVeep: Joe: Just met with Secret Service Barack: Oh yea? Joe: I got them to agree to call Trump "David S. Pumpkins"
@TheBlessMess: Dear Coworker, If I'm nodding my head & smiling at everything you've said, this means I'm fantasizing about getting banged by David Beckham.