@TheToddWilliams: Benedict Cumberpatch's full name is Benedictionary Cucumbercabbagepatch.
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@KeetPotato: [in heaven after crucifixion] jesus: "they were horrible dad, im pleased im not going back there" god: [rubbing his neck] "see the thing is"
@kelkulus: Between IKEA and Burger King, I think it's safe to say we've all eaten entire horses by now.
@envydatropic: I wear lipstick when I go into Walmart so people know I'm not approachable or one of their kind