@patnspankme: Best part of being married is blaming your partner for shrinking something in the dryer because you're getting fat & it doesn't fit anymore.
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@carlyken: Pony: "I love hay so much I-" Dad: "Why don't you marry it, ya big nerd?" *pony grows up* *becomes Horse Emperor* *legalizes hay marriage*
@Home_Halfway: INTERVIEWER: What's your biggest weakness? VANILLA ICE: I've been known to steal under pressure