@ReactionBeyonce: Best senior quote ever
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@Sarcasmo718: I'd love to see Jason Statham's face when he finds out you can turn down movie roles.
@animaldrumss: Arnold Palmer: get me a refreshing drink Barkeep: try this, its lemonade and iced tea Arnold Palmer: Mmm... its good... I just invented it.
@Chumpstring: [car dealership] ME: [not savvy] i need a new car SALESMAN: what kind ME: car SALESMAN: haha what kind of car ME: [perspiring freely] new
@Mr_Kapowski: My daughter is the perfect height for using an umbrella to simultaneously keep her dry and for me to lose an eye from one of its corners