@GrantTanaka: Best thing about drinking in downtown LA is that if u need a bathroom, it's all around you
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@AdamBroud: Gym Employee: Thats not how you operate that machine, sir. Me: *Hanging clothes all over treadmill* But this is how I use it at home.
@oxygenplug: [at party] friend: is dave coming? me: cool dave or dave who likes watering holes & has amnesia? Dave: well, well, well..who do we have here
@dorsalstream: HER: [flirting] I bet you have a lot of skeletons in your closet. ME: Haha no. Those bodies won't show their skeletons for months.