@pinupteacher: Best thing about living in NY is you can order anything, anytime, and 30 minutes later it shows up. You see here? This here is an orangutan.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Suicide Squad spoiler: Jared Leto's Joker is so twisted he puts big spoons in the drawer slots where the little spoons go.
@yonewt: Sometimes I get flustered by waitresses and I say things like "Abso-fruit-ly!" and they laugh like I'm so clever but we both know
@Book_Krazy: *Makes bacon *Eats one piece *2 pieces *3 pieces *Eats all the bacon *Hides the evidence 9: Yummm! What's that smell? Me: Cereal