@pinupteacher: Best thing about living in NY is you can order anything, anytime, and 30 minutes later it shows up. You see here? This here is an orangutan.
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@amazymay72x: Weed doesn't give me an attitude when I forget to pay the electric bill... I love you, weed.
@BradBroaddus: I am fed up with all these incest jokes about us Kentuckians. It's offensive to me as well as Uncle Dad.
@HousewifeOfHell: What's it called when you're anxious enough to be a Helicopter Mom, but really, really lazy? A Blimp Mom? Yeah, I'm that.
@_NTFG_: A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.