@SBinLondon: Best thing I've seen on Facebook all day: "I thought Ariana Grande was a font."
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@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: There's a spider on the carpet! Me: Haha, that's just a piece of fuzz. *fuzz moves* Me: EVERYBODY OUT OF THE HOUSE!
@carlyken: Friend apologizes for mess. Friend has immaculate house. Open her closet. Out comes 78 books, a piano and a gentleman squirrel in a top hat.
@SuburbanSleuth: I want a family beach vacation. Hubby wants a family ski vacation. Hubby showing kids video of tsunamis. But 2 can play. Avalanche anyone?
@tayandmae: U know your mind is gone when u get out of bath and realize u only shaved one leg Unless u only have one leg... Then you're good