@_youhadonejob1: Best warning sign ever.
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@natechartier1: *creating garbage cans* God: "That's where trash goes" *creating my twitter* God: "That's where trash comes from"
@JohnnyNami: "If someone wanted to murder you, a night light wouldn't stop them" I will never lie to my future children.
@murrman5: police chief: you are using the police dogs wrong me watching a dog bark at a criminal in the interrogation room: give him five more minutes
@Henry_3k: Meanwhile at the drugstore... What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication? You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist.