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@clindsaysway: Best way to get picked up at a gym is fall off a machine.
@davidkenny100: About to hit the ball
Boss: you said you'd played before?
Me: uh yes
Boss: that's a putter
Me: Is that wrong?
Boss: wrong for squash yes
@jordan_stratton: COWORKER: I'm my own biggest critic.
ME: Haha, trust me. You aren't.
@envydatropic: Current life status - By the time I figure out what nostril is plugged, it jumps to the other side.
@sarah1mc: I run faster when I hear country music than sirens.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: Interviewer: When were you most satisfied at your last job?
Me: After lunch, next question.