@clindsaysway: Best way to get picked up at a gym is fall off a machine.
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@briangaar: Son, that bear is more afraid of you than you are of ... oh wow, that bear is being really brave right now.
@AndyAsAdjective: [on the phone] ME: Boss, I can't come in today. Got a bad case of- [puts hand over phone] what was it again? DAUGHTER: [whispers] Boogeritis ME: [to phone] It's Boogeritis
@AristotlesNZ: Movies are so unrealistic. This guy's using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe.