@clindsaysway: Best way to get picked up at a gym is fall off a machine.
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@GaryJanetti: I don't know why Russia is so homophobic. Most of the women there look like men anyway.
@AimeeHelene1: Would I miss my leg or my arm more? (me, lying in bed, deciding which to put outside the blanket for the monster under the bed to rip off)
@mommajessiec: Party hack: Let your guests know it’s time to leave by having your child play a musical instrument.