@DannyZuker: Bet they weed out lots of people at big city detective school in the jump off building/land on roof of another building class.
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@TeaAndCopy: [Going through customs] Anything to declare, sir? 1…2… Sir, what are you– 3…4…I declare a thumb war! Oh bring it on *misses flight*
@LaureRapper: Meanwhile, at School: Teacher- "How much is a gram?" Laure- "Depends on what you want" Teacher- "Out, just get out" #YouOwnedHimDude
@PajamaBen_: *cop pulls me over* Have you been drinking? No I- *water bottle now full of wine* *officer lowers shades. its Jesus* No one will believe you