@TheRobCee: Better "copulate" than "copunever."
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@TheMichaelRock: *notices person behind me won't let people merge* *slows down and lets 12 people merge in front of me*
@TheToddWilliams: [butterfly residence] WIFE: You said you'd change, Carl HUSBAND: But I have WIFE: Not really HUSBAND: Uh…I used to be a fricken caterpillar
@SteveSuckington: [my dad and my 3 yr old daughter] Him: Hey sweetie how've you been? Her: I have a boyfriend Me: lmao *my daughter and I high five*
@Papa_Mex: When a coworker pisses me off, I like to write his name down for 23 boxes of girl scout cookies on the form in the break room