@Love_bug1016: "Better safe than sorry," I tell myself as I send the 27th text telling him my feelings.
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@fro_vo: [cruise] Me: boats freak me out Wife: listen to some music M: how W: there’s a band on ship M: a what W: a band on ship M: *jumps overboard*
@murrman5: I'm off to the store got your wallet? yes you sure? YES *hour later wife turns on news and I'm being chased by 6 cop cars and a helicopter*
@dongfuture: Can you say your strengths? “Your strengths” No like what are they “My legs maybe” No, like for work “Oh lol sorry, idk prob communication”
@KyleMcDowell86: "Congrats Lobster Boy, u got the job" [Lobster Boy goes in for the handshake but cuts his employer's hand clean off]