@badbanana: Between Man of Steel, This Is The End, and Pacific Rim, I've seen around 5 billion people die this summer. A personal best.
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@MelKassel: *pulling up to toll both with megaphone in hand* Booth operator: ma'am please not again Me: someBODY once tolled me—
@OhNoSheTwitnt: The families in Eggo commercials live in nice houses and appear wealthy. Why are they always fighting over one shitty frozen waffle?