@badbanana: Between Man of Steel, This Is The End, and Pacific Rim, I've seen around 5 billion people die this summer. A personal best.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: Most of us were taught to never get in cars with strangers, so taxi cabs make absolutely no sense.
@lildandeli0n: [Gets Twitter error: "Somehow, somewhere, something went wrong"] I know Twitter, I know. That's why I'm here.
@causticbob: If you're using public transport never give up your seat to an old lady... That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.
@bakedbrotatoes: -This is my son Michelangelo. -Oh, like the artist. -Um no like the Ninja Turtle.