@carlyken: Beware of girls like Princess Peach. She seems cool at first but she ends up in some other dude's castle far too often to be a coincidence.
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@_mindflakes: "Please stop misquoting me on Twitter," said my boss. "It makes me sad because I am a large baby with a stupid haircut"
@TheCatWhisprer: They say you should eat 6 small meals a day to lose weight so being an overachiever I have been eating 26 a day.
@nealbrennan: Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
@n0tblonde: If mental stability was measured by the type of tweets we laughed at, straight jackets would be the new black.