@carlyken: Beware of girls like Princess Peach. She seems cool at first but she ends up in some other dude's castle far too often to be a coincidence.
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@SarahFemme: If your mom still washes your underwear, you're not allowed to have an opinion about anything.
@TheMichaelRock: Hey guy driving the speed limit with your hands at 10 & 2, can I have some of that weed you're transporting?
@TheToddWilliams: STICK BUG WIFE: We can't seem to get pregnant DOC: Well, we ran numerous tests… STICK BUG WIFE: …and? DOC: Your husband's an actual stick
@wesjohnson8: The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, & nobody else thinks they're jokes.