@carlyken: Beware of girls like Princess Peach. She seems cool at first but she ends up in some other dude's castle far too often to be a coincidence.
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@briangaar: Hi I'm Charlie Brown, the depressed 10-year-old who can't kick a football. I'd like to talk to you for a second about insurance
@WhatevaConc: The word résumé has fireworks coming out of it to help with the pronunciation yet we're left to fend for ourselves with colonel?
@ChaseMit: Obama says he supports gay marriage because his views have "evolved." Republicans unsure which half of the sentence to get more angry about.
@CulturedRuffian: Father's Day Fun: 1) Walk up to a complete stranger at lunch with his family. 2) Hug him. 3) Tell him 'Happy Father's Day dad'! 4) Run.