@ladybroseph: Beyonce is a great actress because there is no way she has the time or energy to have the kind of sex she sings about.
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@_Tempo11: I wonder if my dog gets embarrassed when I give him kisses in front of other dogs at the park.
@trumpetcake: People always complain that I'm "out there." [On the phone. To the cops. While I'm sitting in their birdbath.]