@ladybroseph: Beyonce is a great actress because there is no way she has the time or energy to have the kind of sex she sings about.
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@Reverend_Scott: [horror movie in 2169] The killer creeps up behind the college co-eds and JUST STARTS THROWING GLUTEN EVERYWHERE [entire audience faints]
@Book_Krazy: Me: Do you have any dreams? Him:...I'm running on a giant hamster wheel and a squirrel wearing a tuxedo comes... Me: ASPIRATIONS YOU IDIOT
@LosLos__: HR: You said: You're "moist" welcome? Me: Autocorrect. HR: You're fine. Me: Sweet! HR: I meant: you're fired. Autocorrect.