@ElmoYouNasty: Beyonce made a song called "Single Ladies" then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy
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@RandiLawson: Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
@NYC_Blonde: I thought all the men at my gym were being exceptionally nice for a Monday morning but turns out my workout pants are just see-through.
@MsCassieDaniels: My white girl power is ability to never putting more than $20 worth of gas in at a time.
@Mr_goose007: If I ever go missing, please put my photo on a Tequila bottle because nobody I know drinks milk.