@NotthatAdamWest: Beyonce was Destiny's Child. The other two were adopted.
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@rudy_mustang: how would water even break? it's a liquid. im not sure i want to have a baby with a liar sharon
@TheMichaelRock: HR: You can't urinate outside. Me: Then how will we keep the jellyfish away? HR: Can you take a drug test? Me: Nope, I'm all out of urine
@djdarrellripley: Her: Does that dog actually play chess? Me: He's not so smart. I beat him 2 games out of 3. *Dog Barks Me: Alright, 1 game out of 3.
@cwhudson: BARTENDER: okay man, here's your appletini MAN: [upset] this isn't what i ordered BARTENDER: i'm sorry? MAN: why isn't it a tiny apple