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@NotthatAdamWest: Beyonce was Destiny's Child. The other two were adopted.
@jessokfine: Bread pudding is not a dessert. it is just wet bread. do not fall for this scam. Resist.
@bea_ker: Just went for a piss while still wearing my microphone and the whole conference heard me call the urinal a "thirsty boy"
@CheeseCasket: Pharmacist: Don't take this while driving and make sure you eat-
*crushes pill and snorts off the counter*
@ohwrigley: I'm watching 'Dexter' for inspiration. Entertainment. I meant entertainment.
@jake_lach: In hell, your socks are always wet