@MomOnFire: Big Foot rental costumes are surprisingly realistic and terrifying at 4am around the bonfire at the party I wasn't invited to.
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@DionneMcNutt: There's 3 ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone or forbid your kids to do it.
@MrJeremyHorn: So apparently I've been Googling 'Asian Prom' this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren't going to bang.
@itchyturtle: Rent boat. Go out to sea. Find sperm whale. Tell him he's called sperm whale. Console sperm whale. Have fun with new whale best friend.