@armyVet1972: Big shoutout to the Red Robin waitress who checked my ID and immediately ruined the moment by saying, "Wow you're, like, older than my dad!"
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@bromanconsul: sorry son. I know u had ur heart set on college but Grandma had to throw her massive diamond into the ocean to deal w some emotional stuff
@markleggett: Companies want "rockstar" employees, as rockstars are known for punctuality, even-tempers, and a desire to work in a corporate environment.