@armyVet1972: Big shoutout to the Red Robin waitress who checked my ID and immediately ruined the moment by saying, "Wow you're, like, older than my dad!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Vodkantots: I really hope my family doesn't give me a urinal cake again for my birthday this year.
@BangMyBongo: Mary on Facebook says this generation is way to reliant on technology... She then sent me 7 Candy Crush invites
@WeissBrandon: My wife: ever since you got on twitter you never listen or talk to me any more. Me: yeah spaghetti for sure!