@thebgcomplex: Bikini season is right around the corner...But so is Chipotle
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@TheMichaelRock: The best salesperson ever was the first woman to shave off her eyebrows and draw them back on, then convince a second woman to do it.
@ilovepie84: Whenever I see someone with spider web tattoos on their elbows I spray them with Raid and attempt to flush them down the toilet.
@realHamOnWry: My nephew asked, 'Do you have a New Years hangover today?' I said, 'No. Hangovers are for people who stop drinking'.
@briangaar: Damn it's cold out. Better wear a coat, hat, gloves & boots. Sorry legs, you're still getting pants only, thanks for doing all the work tho