@rationalists: Bill Clinton is so getting laid tonight. Hillary is in Indonesia.
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@bobvulfov: turn-ons: • eye contact • people who pay attention to me • people who know how to push my buttons • oh god im a television • how did this h―
@chrisanna4real: Twitter is like a soap opera for some of you. I'd like to be the one who sneaks into the hospital and unplugs your life support.
@aka_fatman: President, first day on the job: *pushing a button* Janet can you- [two nuclear missiles launch towards Moscow] That wasn't the intercom.