@rationalists: Bill Clinton is so getting laid tonight. Hillary is in Indonesia.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TEXASVETERAN: I just read a bumper sticker that said, "Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you love Satan." Sent from iPhone.
@Brianhopecomedy: I'm watching my 4 year old son give my 1 year old a hammer. He is so irresponsible.
@GinAndJif: A guy just revved his engine and drove off really quick so I had to chase him for three miles to tell him I don't want to have sex with him.