@jonnysun: bill cosby's full name is "bill sinby over tanby"
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@ComedicBust: Me: Ugh, there's always issues with the wifi! Mexican grandfather: When I was 6, I fought a pack of wolves crossing the border to America.
@flashember: Meow meow meow [Wife comes home early] MEOW! *cats scramble to untie me from the torture rack* THELMA I TOLD YOU THE CATS HATE ME I TOLD YOU
@copymama: My 7yo said if she ever gets married she wants to have a pajama-themed wedding, and I feel like my parenting has come to fruition.