@walruslifestyle: bill nye is short for william new years eve
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@SufficientCharm: 5 Stages of Pregnancy: 1: Crying 2: Peeing 3: Crying because you peed 4: Peeing because you're crying 5: The toilet is your home now
@michaelianblack: Is it racist that I only use chopsticks when eating Asian food? I'm never like, "Time for pancakes! Where are my chopsticks?"
@squirrel74wkgn: [at the club] Me: ...everyone seemed to be just fine with Superman wearing red knee high boots Her: Just take them off