@DamienFahey: Billion dollar idea: An app that sends you a text when the light turns green.
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@eddiesteadyno: [Mon] Boss: Let's talk about your clothes Adam: But it's my best leaf B: You need officewear A: Understood [Tues] B: Is that a sticky note?
@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: Omg all the kids are asleep! I can finally sit and relax! Dog: Yeah. About that. *pukes all over living room*
@Fred_Delicious: [sex addiction group] "Hi, my name is Fred, and as I've got a saxophone in my hand it's fair to assume I misread the ad"
@dulcetry: My son will never know the thrill of illegally downloading Thong Song on napster and waiting 1h39m for it to download