@DamienFahey: Billion dollar idea: An app that sends you a text when the light turns green.
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@vikkaroni: You're never too old to throw random shit in people's shopping carts when they aren't looking.
@BillPelicanBros: A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation for the Abandoned Children's Home...so I gave him my kids.
@jakob_huber: I feel bad for tailgating this minivan so closely but once I started watching Kung Fu Panda on his back seat TV I had to see it through.
@SatansTongue: *at a concert* ARE YOU GUYS READY TO ROCK (Crowd) "YEAAAAH" LETS DO THIS HIT IT *30 second ad plays first*