@darinlovesbacon: Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride
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@robdelaney: If you see someone over the age of 9 wearing sweatpants, pull them aside & say "Friend, you're wearing sweatpants." They might not know.
@bobvulfov: [speed dating] DATE: ding ME: did u just make the ding sound with ur mouth DATE: no ME: we have 4 minutes left DATE: *louder this time* ding