@darinlovesbacon: Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride
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@SirEviscerate: "Since you both claim to be this infant's mother, we'll cut the baby in half." OK. Sounds reasonable. "Y...uh, alright then. Let's do this."
@envydatropic: Surround yourself with people who will groom your eyebrows should you ever become comatose