@PajamaBen_: Billy where is your homework? "im sorry Ms. Klein my dog- *sees dog in the window make a throat cutting motion* -gone cat ate it"
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@KalvinMacleod: How to determine what party to vote for: 1) Calculate income 2) Divide by number of dependents 3) Subtract age 4) Download Game of War
@Crunk_Jews: Dear Autocorrect, She's an amazing woman not an amazon woman. Thanks. And now I'm never getting laid.
@PhuckinCody: ME: hey did u get my letter? HER: No ME: weird, my carrier penguin should've made it by now HER: You mean carrier pigeon? ME: lol what