@PajamaBen_: Billy where is your homework? "im sorry Ms. Klein my dog- *sees dog in the window make a throat cutting motion* -gone cat ate it"
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@Sal0630: If you've never actually got dressed, got in your car & pretended to drive "to work" to get a chick to leave your house then you're not me.
@fart: the bad guy ships on star trek werent actually "cloaking" they just turned all their lights off
@DangOlWill: *Bad guy in pokemon voice* i want to end all life *after losing a fight* well fair's fair here's twenty dollars
@Gre_Gone: Me: *ziplines into wedding* "Sup nerds?" *pants get caught and tear off leaving me dangling naked upside down* Priest: "Ooh a piñata!"