@PajamaBen_: Billy where is your homework? "im sorry Ms. Klein my dog- *sees dog in the window make a throat cutting motion* -gone cat ate it"
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@TheDairylandDon: Where do avocados come from? Uh, well, when a crocodile loves a pear very much...
@jenlaw_11: If a server comes to my table and asks 'hows everythin tasting?' mid chew I like to grab their wrist and keep them there until I can answer
@BoogTweets: Judas: *Sips wine* Great, water again, very funny Jesus:HAHA I got you! Judas: So glad this is our last supper Jesus: what? Judas: what?
@The_Whip_Hand: PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.