@robrouse: Bin Laden's neighbours interviewed "we had no idea...he just kept himself to himself really..."
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@stockejock: I'm ready to be a father now that I've successfully fed a goldfish for a week-he's so happy, he's relaxing & floating on his back...wait...
@Robert_Beau: Her: Put your finger on it! Me: Like this? Her: Oh yeah, I can finish now! -Making the perfect bow
@squirrel74wkgn: All these gifts today better get me laid. Wife (in a narrator's voice): ...but, then she overheard him talking...and he never did get laid.