@robrouse: Bin Laden's neighbours interviewed "we had no idea...he just kept himself to himself really..."
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@thesupergrobi: Stop telling men beards alone will make women love them when everyone knows they need to play the guitar too.
@enigmaticmess: Him: Have you ever been so drunk that you... Me: Yes Him: But I didn't finish... Me: The answer is yes
@Where__wolf: "Dad Is that a killer whale?" "No son thats an orca" "Oh. Well what's a killer whale?" "U see that whale that's covered n tats & smokin weed
@EyeSeeYou619: I want to be rich enough that when complimented on my Star Wars t-shirt I can give it to them revealing the exact same t-shirt underneath.