@markleggett: Bing is a fast search engine because you're the only person using it.
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@UncleDuke1969: Me: C'mon. Dog: No. Me: Let's go. Dog: No. Me: Please? Dog: YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!? Me: It's just rain. Dog: I already pooped in your shoe.
@shellyspivey: "I wanna know who is responsible for this!" nn-Me to my parents, while pointing at myself.
@MaritalFauxPas: If a cannibal kills me he better have the right kind of Zip-loc bags! If I get tossed out because of freezer burn I'm going to be pissed!