@ibid78: Birds do it, bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let's do it, let's fly headfirst into a plate glass window.
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@PhilJamesson: "Girl, are you a tree? cause-" "no i'm not a tree" "..cause i want-" "why are you still talking i'm not a tree" ".. i want t-" "not a tree"
@dave_cactus: DAD: Hugh, please. It's a perfectly fine name. Stop complaining. HUGH J'DISAPPOINTMENT: It's not my first name I'm upset about.
@MommaUnfiltered: Me, 87 times before falling asleep: want to go outside??? Dog: meh Me *falls asleep* Dog: hey stupid wake up I need to go out
@dlockw21: TSA: Sir, you can't bring that bottle of whiskey on the flight. Me: Um, this is my Service Whiskey. See his little vest? TSA: ....