@krisv_723: Birds do it & no one bats an eye. One time I shit on a windshield & suddenly it's arrests & psych evaluations.
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@seethenare: age 9- *jumps off fences, feels fine* age 19- *jumps off garage on a dare, feels fine* age 39- *takes Aleve cuz I "slept funny"
@withanewname: The family pet is getting old so we're all pitching in and throwing the dog poop in the neighbors yard when she can't make it over there.
@KeetPotato: [lightbulb store] owner: "what watt can i get you?" me: owner: me: owner: "did i stutter?" me: "i dont know"
@ehchino: [Couples counseling] "It's not good to keep these things bottles up, you know" Okay, fine *opens jar of wasps*