@krisv_723: Birds do it & no one bats an eye. One time I shit on a windshield & suddenly it's arrests & psych evaluations.
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@SteveSuckington: "Expose yourself to Art" they said "Art will tase you and call the cops on you" they didn't say
@Eightinchgoat: Some dude just asked if I was "herb friendly". I told him I like basil and dill and he walked off. Guess he didn't have thyme to discuss it.
@littlelady899: When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
@HeyZeus666: I've been eating sunflower seeds and Tweeting for 9 hours. Now I know what my canary feels like.