@clemdytan: I shot my first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!

@YUCKYBOT: "Are you a cop? You have to tell me if you're a cop." "I'm a cop." "So you're a cop AND a gun dealer? Random, but okay let's do this shit"

@hippieswordfish: [arcade] KID: dad, some guy is hogging the claw machine DAD: hey buddy, why don't you give the kid a turn LOBSTER: BACK OFF WE'RE IN LOVE

@Birdhumms: I've had the same phone for over three years, so I know a thing or two about commitment and frustration.

@prodigalsam: "I wish I had more time to read" he said as Netflix automatically played the next episode.