@shadonium: Birds shit on us because we tweet better.
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@clemdytan: I shot my first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!
@YUCKYBOT: "Are you a cop? You have to tell me if you're a cop." "I'm a cop." "So you're a cop AND a gun dealer? Random, but okay let's do this shit"
@hippieswordfish: [arcade] KID: dad, some guy is hogging the claw machine DAD: hey buddy, why don't you give the kid a turn LOBSTER: BACK OFF WE'RE IN LOVE
@Birdhumms: I've had the same phone for over three years, so I know a thing or two about commitment and frustration.