@TheMichaelRock: *reads sign* No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service! *takes off pants*

@Lerky: "HI DO YOU WANT TO DRESS UP NICE SO WE CAN QUEUE OUTSIDE A CLUB & GET INSIDE & QUEUE UP TO BUY A DRINK & THEN QUEUE UP TO GO TO THE TOILET?"

@KenJennings: REAL '90s kids will recognize this! ---> Current unemployment.

@prufrockluvsong: her: my therapist keeps canceling appointments to go on vacation to who knows where me: [under breath] whereapist

@ShutUpThatsWho: [me as a ninja] [a smoke ball is thrown in a park] [when the smoke clears, all of the dogs in the park have stealthily been petted]