@peterjames48: Birth certificates need a popup dialog box: "Are you SURE you want to spell your kid's name that way?"
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@isabelzawtun: The local children surround me, trying to build a pyre. I'M NOT A WITCH, I shriek, my witch-like shrieking doing me no favours whatsoever
@TinaMav: Next time a stranger talks to me when I'm alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper "You can see me?"..
@Robert_Beau: The Job Interview: HR: So you are bilingual? Me: Si HR: In your native tongue please. Me: Ooga Booga
@samlymatters: If your coffee shop has a passive aggressive "no wifi pretend it's the old days" sign I'm gonna smoke in there & pay 50 cents for coffee.