@Wenderella22: Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bullet proof vest
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@BobTheSuit: Me: So, what do you do for a living? Her: I flip houses. Me: You must have incredible lower back strength. Her: You're an idiot.
@WarrenHolstein: Melania Trump says her husband is "not Hitler." That's true. Hitler had a mustache and adult-sized hands.
@Overdue_Bills: Whenever my car won't start I open the hood so I can have a good look at all the things I don't understand.