@Wenderella22: Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bullet proof vest
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@pyepar: Left home on Friday night, got bck home on Monday night. Grandma: U kids dnt knw hw 2 party, wen I ws ur age, I'd come back after a month
@TheBoydP: I may be getting old but not “doesn’t know what day of the week it is” old. I can tell by which day I open on my daily pill organizer.
@1Bad_Scientist: *at Thanksgiving dinner* Me: One of you is eating poison green bean casserole. Everyone: *gasp* Me: Just kidding you all are.
@LorieGZ: Mom: I called you bc I was watching a TV show & thought of you! Me: Ya? What show? My Mom (laughing): A show about Aliens! Very funny Mom!