@markydoodoo: Birthdays were invented by big wax corporations to sell more candles with numbers on them.
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@kwirkyKerri: Of course I'm not leaving. I'm just going to step outside for a minute. (Runs to car)
@LindaInDisguise: You guys, I seriously never ask for prayers but this is an emergency. There is a rumor that Red Lobster might be closing. Pray. Pray hard.