@markydoodoo: Birthdays were invented by big wax corporations to sell more candles with numbers on them.
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@Inferno_V: "Don't put your brother in the fridge" is something I never thought I'd say, yet here I am.
@pixelatedboat: This Easter, please take a moment to remember Jesus and his inspiring message for mankind:
@Verity_Holloway: I'm getting old. I'm watching a horror film about a house with a hidden cellar that wasn't on the deeds, and all I can think is how much value that would add.
@CassandrasJack: I call bullshit on dogs being mans best friend. That little m'effer didn't lift a paw when I moved. Not him or all his little friends