@markydoodoo: Birthdays were invented by big wax corporations to sell more candles with numbers on them.
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@TheTweetOfGod: Great news! Chipotle is giving out thousands of free burritos tomorrow! That means I’ll be seeing thousands of you by this weekend!
@Midgetspar: Lets all Twittercide at the same time & not tell a Will Smith parody account, 1 dog account, & all the zombie people just to freak him out.
@AaronFullerton: Beyoncé: Ok now ladies let's get in formation. Ladies: Information about what? Beyoncé: Dammit, ladies, we went over this.