@Julian_Deane: Bit creepy of my maths teacher to put a little kiss after each answer.
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@daemonic3: [bank] Robber: EVERYONE GET DOWN! Me: [crying] my wife left & my kids think I'm a joke Robber: No I mean- Robber2: Wait! Let him finish
@wife_housy: Being a mom means being the first one up in the morning, the last one to bed at night, and the only one drinking during church.
@botandy: google logo keeps changing its appearance because it killed a man in Tampa in 1999 and has to stay ahead of the law
@LackOfShame: Have fun, but be careful. Your sister was vacuumed up last week, and yesterday your cousin was killed with a shoe. - spider moms, probably