@Scorpio1080: Black Friday: Because Only in America, People trample others for Sales the day after being thankful for what they already have
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@DannyZuker: Bet they weed out lots of people at big city detective school in the jump off building/land on roof of another building class.
@thejamietighe: In a car crash a dog would rescue you. However a cat would pour liquor over your face and testify against you in court.
@Brianhopecomedy: "Doctor, is the baby healthy?" "Yes Kanye, and just so you know I was the first one to hold her." "Huh?" *Ray-J pulls off surgical mask