@envydatropic: Black Friday deals but at the pharmacy
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LaLuchaNix: Son: Mom, can I sleep with you? I'm scared. Me: No, I can't risk the monster following you into my room and killing me.
@fro_vo: Cap: good morning Avengers let's begin Iron Man: wait spider-man is missing Open Mouth Man: weird he was here when i went to sleep last nite
@daemonic3: [bank] Robber: EVERYONE GET DOWN! Me: [crying] my wife left & my kids think I'm a joke Robber: No I mean- Robber2: Wait! Let him finish
@MelvinofYork: Me: Just so you know, I’m DTF right now. Wife: I don’t know what "DTF" means. Me: Take a guess. Wife: (pause) Definitely Too Fat?