@envydatropic: Black Friday deals but at the pharmacy
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@OfficialMizGin: Cologne companies have no clue what really attracts women. If they did, every bottle would smell like doughnuts.
@JKNenagh: My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night
@mrjohndarby: my brain: you have over a thousand unread emails me: yes my brain: are you ever going to read them? me: no my brain: then delete them me: no