@peteec: BlackBerry's are great phones to have if you're time traveling to 2005 and don't want people to know you're from the future.
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@seamussaid: Lunchables™? huge waste of money! I have my kids mill their own wheat then hunt, kill & field strip a wild bologna
@AmishPornStar1: Sweet potatoes are just regular potatoes that remember birthdays and anniversaries.
@Donna_Gallers: Avoid the horror of watching your children’s nativity this year by using a condom approximately six years before you have to attend.
@NickSchug: I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote "dentists are liars" into my phone. Not really sure what the plan is with that.