@peteec: BlackBerry's are great phones to have if you're time traveling to 2005 and don't want people to know you're from the future.
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@cambuslad: Wife just shouted to me to get my big chopper out .After the panic subsided, I realised she meant we were out of firewood for the stove.
@JumbledButts: Prison Guard: "So you two cons are in love?" Con1: "Yes." Con2: "It's like we finish each other's..." *in unison* "death sentences."
@thestlouisan: Wife just said "burgs" instead of "burgers" and now I'm a little scared to think of what she's going to do with all the time she saved.
@Token_Geezer: The amount of time my phone spends plugged in you may as well call it a landline