@peteec: BlackBerry's are great phones to have if you're time traveling to 2005 and don't want people to know you're from the future.
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@2014longview: If you carry a baseball bat in your car, you should carry a glove too. Your lawyer will thank you.
@ibid78: *interrupts your baby's first words* "IF A PANDA WEARS A HANDKERCHIEF IT'S CALLED A PANDANA."
@Reverend_Scott: [Shop class] Satan: Whatcha makin'? God: Trust. Man can use it to form lasting bonds and friendships. What you making? Satan: A bong.
@beefman138: People who scream on roller-coasters : Did you not expect it to go fast down the hill?